5 reasons you might like Vice Academy (1989)

For a good time, call a cop.

Danny P. emailed me and asked me if I’d seen Vice Academy and when I told him no, he said he bet I couldn’t come up with 5 reasons someone might like it. Challenge accepted.

I am Jason Kleeberg, this is Force Five, and today I’m going to give you 5 reasons you might like Vice Academy.

Reason number 5, if you were into the USA Up All Night movies, Vice Academy is going to be right up your alley. In fact, it was the most watched Up All Night flick. For those unfamiliar, USA’s Up All Night was a programming block that debuted in 1978 starting at 11pm that featured more risque stuff and they would have stuff like Cheerleader Beach Party, My Mom’s a Werewolf, schlock like that. It’s one of those VHS boxes you’d see in the comedy section when you were twelve, just hoping that it was still there when you got to drive to the video store without your parents, but by the time you were 16 and had a driver’s license, your film tastes got a bit better and you wanted to rent more high brow fare, like Urban Legend.

Reason number 4, it’s a really visually interesting movie, but not necessarily because it looks good, because it certainly doesn’t. It does, however, present a perfect time capsule for low budget, Hollywood High graduate films shot in Los Angeles in the 80’s and that’s like catnip for me. The big hair, the cheap clothes, the Hollywood Boulevard locations, it all feels strip mall cheap, and that’s kind of endearing. To illustrate exactly what I’m talking about, there’s a scene set in an adult film studio, because our vice cops are infiltrating a production studio that is using underaged girls, and this here is the poster in the background for one of their productions, ____ of the lost whores. Just look at that. Who’s going to the Pussycat Theater, looking at the marquee and buying a ticket for that?

Reason number 3, there’s a certain charm to “bad comedy” energy, especially in 80’s movies like this. It looks like the cast is legitimately having fun, even if the jokes that are written for them are dumb. Sometimes, painfully so. But depending on your tolerance for low-budget, late night nonsense, that can become part of the charm. Vice Academy is full of close up reaction shots, silly sound effects, undercover cop absurdity, cheap sex-comedy setups and jokes that feel like they may have been written a few minutes before rolling. It’s like public access Police Academy, and for the right crowd, that’s part of the fun.

Reason number 2, let’s be honest: the main reason this tape moved off the shelf in the late 80’s and early 90’s was the pairing of the always stunning Linnea Quigley and then adult film actor Ginger Lynn. Quigley brings the scream-queen/cult-horror credibility, while Ginger Lynn brings her own clothes off legend status into a mainstream exploitation comedy. Now, Rick Sloane may not always know what to do with them, but their presence gives Vice Academy its entire reason for existing. They’re on the box and that’s why you were renting this. To see these women with the quality they deserve, you’re going to want to seek out Vinegar Syndrome’s disc. It looks great, scanned and restored from the original 35mm negatives, and it also features some extra interviews with both Linnea Quigley and Ginger Lynn in the very thoughtful extras.

Reason number 1, this is the perfect bad movie night flick to put on while having fun with others. No one needs to be quiet, you don’t need to pay attention, this is a pass a joint and the video tape box around and read the back cover kind of flick. It knows exactly what it is and it never strives to be anything more than a cheap, broad, horny, ridiculous farce. The police station is plastered with road signs everywhere. Why? Probably because it was a friend’s office that they needed to use and they needed to cover actual signs up. It’s the same reason that they do a police lineup in the carpeted hallway instead of an actual room. It delivers on the cover art without feeling like softcore too, as there’s only one kind of sex scene and it’s ridiculous enough that it almost doesn’t even count.

So there you have it, if any of those reasons I mentioned stand out to you, you can try to pick up the Vinegar Syndrome disc but I believe it’s out of print now. If you can’t find it for a reasonable price, check Tubi, it seems like their kind of movie. I hope I did your recommendation justice, Danny. Have you seen any of the six Vice Academy movies? If so, what did you think of it? And what’s your favorite Linnea Quigley film? Let me know in the comments below, and if you have a movie you think I should see, email me at forcefivepodcast@gmail.com like Danny did.