Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair (finally).
I saw Kill Bill: Vol. 1 at midnight the opening night and it was a transformative experience. I remember seeing some of the influence of the limited Kung Fu films I’d seen on TBS up to that point, but leaving hungry for more. Looking at the tons of Kung Fu films in my collection now (well over 100), I have to surmise that Quentin Tarantino’s ode to the Shaw Brothers was the catalyst for my Kung Fu film library and really ignited my love for the genre.
After seeing Vol. 2, I remember the rumor that Tarantino had plans to cut it together emerging online. In 2006, that cut hit the Canne Film Festival touting a full color House of Blue Leaves sequence, a longer, bloodier anime sequence and several cuts and shifts to make everything flow together. It was the definitive version…and I’d never see it.
The only print was owned by Tarantino, shown at exclusive events or at his house. Once he bought the New Bev, it started being shown, but he didn’t own the rights. He also said that it would only be a theatrical experience - no physical media, no streaming. At some point earlier this year, I actually planned to fly down to L.A. at some point to check it out, because it felt like it was just outside of my grasp, and I wasn’t about to let that go another year. Then…Lionsgate made the announcement that for a week or two, it would be shown across the country.
My ticket was purchased.
It was a bit daunting - four and a half hours with an intermission and three sets of credits (which I always sit through), but I was prepared. Originally my wife was supposed to go with me, but because of things outside of our control, I ended up going solo. To my surprise, the theater was nearly empty…but I’m guessing the runtime had a bit to do with that. Finally, I was seeing this unicorn print of a film I thought I’d never see. While I had read about the changes for years, I avoided the fan edits and the bootlegs - and now, it was here.
Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair is an event - it feels like a saga. I’m not going to go into the plot of the movie because you’ve all seen it, and it’s really not that changed. The biggest revelation I had while watching it was actually that I like the films as two separate movies. The House of Blue Leaves sequence is one of my favorite scenes of all time - from the moment O-Ren arrives (with the iconic score) to the minute she falls in the snow, everything is just perfect for me. Seeing it in color was dazzling, and while the editing isn’t perfect, it’s still just as thrilling to me as it was the first time I saw it. But it was the high point of the experience for me, and when it happens at the halfway point, the film feels like it runs out of gas just a bit too early. I enjoy the cerebral, more story driven nature of the second film and I do like how it explores Bill and Beatrix’s relationship, but when you’re watching it all together…it feels slow. It doesn’t help that O-Ren is by far my favorite antagonist in the film and once she’s gone, no one is able to pick up the slack (as much as Ellie Driver tries).
Let me be clear, I was never bored, but when you’re watching it continuously, its easy to pick out good scenes that just feel unnecessary. Take Budd’s stop at the strip joint, for example. It’s a fun scene and Larry Bishop is hilarious as Budd’s boss, but it adds nothing to the story and slows things down to a crawl. Same with Bill’s diatribe about comics and Superman at the end - four hours and change in, I was thinking, “Get to the fucking point, Bill.” I was also thinking, “Why did they keep the bleeps over Beatrix Kiddo’s name in the first half of this version?” To be fair though, I’ve thought that the whole time. It’s an odd touch that I believe is supposed to add some mystery to Bill calling her Kiddo, but blanking out her name adds nothing to the film outside of it being so damn distracting when it happens the first two times.
Outside of the new footage, there was one really great edit made in this cut. Because we don’t need a cliffhanger to keep us talking before the release of the second film, Bill never reveals the daughter is alive in the Sophie Fatale scene here…it cuts to the intermission right before the line. I heard and audible gasp from one of the handful of people in my theater when Beatrix walks into Bill’s room and sees B.B. While you don’t forget that she was pregnant, the experience is so long that you kind of stop thinking about it right in time for the reveal.
While it’s a bit late for it now, I found myself itching for more of the side characters this time around and it was hard not to imagine a miniseries where each of the side plots we hear about (but don’t see) are illustrated for us. I want to know why exactly Hattori Hanzo took a blood oath to stop making swords. I want to see an episode focused on Budd, what happened between he and his brother and his bouncer job. Michael Madsen just gave so many special performances when Tarantino was writing his characters. Give me an episode showing Pai Mei taking on 60 Shaolin Monks. Let me see Ellie’s training…and give me a whole goddamn four and a half hour movie about O-Ren Ishii, because she is one of the most badass crime bosses ever put on film (and frankly, Lucy Lui doesn’t get enough credit for that role).
One and a half large Cherry/Vanilla/Lime Cokes (yes, I’m serious, and yes, you should try it because as unhealthy as it is, it’s delicious) and one large popcorn refill later, it was over…and I’m glad I saw it. Reconnecting with the Bride was great…hearing O-Ren’s speech while standing on the table brought a tear to my eye, and I finally got to see all of the scenes I’d dreamed about for so long…but when I watch Kill Bill next time, it’ll be in two parts as I originally saw them (which is good, because I probably won’t have a choice anyway).
